In this article I will educate you about the concept of ‘Personal Power‘ and how it plays a vital role in developing a confident identity. To some people this concept may seem a bit disturbing because they hear the word ‘Power’ and freak out. Just stay calm, and don’t prejudge until you have read the whole article. Lets begin shall we?
Nobody likes to feel powerless. Personally speaking, I prefer to ALWAYS stay in control of what I am doing, otherwise I start feeling uncomfortable and even nervous.
So what exactly is ‘Personal Power’? In lame terms, it is the energy that you are sending to yourself and others that demonstrate yourself as a person of power (also known as a person of high value). Either you are conveying power (you are in control) or you are conveying lower value (you are not in control). Obviously the range of control or power can vary, but the concept remains true. Someone always has the upper hand in the game.
Take for example the concept of driving a car. Obviously the driver is more in control of the direction that the car is headed towards as compared to the passenger. Similarly when you engage yourself with others, there is always someone who has more power (higher value) than others.
This is also one of those themes which I will talk about frequently in this blog. The basic idea is to convey as much power as possible when dealing with other people. Preferably you want to have the highest social value whenever possible.
I will provide you with two strategies which if implemented correctly can boost your perceived value around others. Make sure you practice them and incorporate them into your lifestyle. Once that happens, you will just naturally convey confidence and POWER.
Strategy #1 - Take Up LOTS of Space
This is what powerful people do. They take up lots of space to demonstrate they are very comfortable. This can be done in pretty much everything that you do. Whether it is sitting or standing, just remember to lean back and spread out. Wherever you happen to be, make sure you OWN the real estate.
People with low confidence tend to take up very little space. As a matter of fact, you can see this everywhere. Not only do these people lean in when presenting themselves to others, but they also keep their feet and arms close to their body demonstrating low self value. I guess these people are scared to take up other peoples space.
I know this sounds basic, but it is very powerful. Don’t be afraid to take up lots of space, even if it is not your property. Let others know that you are very comfortable in your skin.
Strategy #2 - Speak Slowly
Most people do not speak slow, and those that do are usually mentally challenged. All of us need to learn to slow it down when speaking. This sounds easy doesn’t it? Believe me, it is not easy.
Speaking slowly conveys a sense of confidence and it captivates your listeners. Seriously, this is one of those concepts that you will find mentioned in every book but it is hard to explain. Just take my word for it and practice speaking slowly. Make sure you do not sound like a robot speaking in mono tone mode. You want to speak slowly, loud and with emotions so it almost sounds melodic (I said almost, do not start singing your speech).
Another trick to really sound powerful while speaking is to practice pausing. While you are saying something, just pause and hold eye contact. Give the pause 2-3 seconds and then continue on. This is a killer trick which when combined with a slow pace of speech will create an almost hypnotic effect on others.
Remember I mentioned in an earlier article that people don’t listen, but instead they wait to talk? Guess what talking slowly does? That’s right, it forces them to pay greater attention to you.
Another thing you should know is that speaking fast conveys lack of confidence. It is like as if you are afraid that somebody will interrupt you and not let you continue talking. Get it?
In conclusion, you now have two great weapons that you can learn to use immediately. DO NOT confuse these with basic body language tricks. The above two strategies are very effective and need to be perfected. I will be touching on similar concepts over and over again so worry not.
Until Next Time
Atiff Rizwani
Tags: Personal Power and Authority
By Grum on Oct 28, 2008
I never knew about leaning in. People better watch out, i am going to take your real state now
By Dan on Oct 28, 2008
I can see how the pause would add a dramatic effect to your speech. This I must try out.
By James on Oct 28, 2008
You got me man. Ready, Set, FIRE
By PIA on Oct 28, 2008
Now that I think about it, people who do speak slow do demonstrate a bold personality. Thanks for sharing this. It is very useful.
By romee on Oct 28, 2008
I see you keep talking about value. There is a old saying that perception is reality. You must have mastered that eh?
By TTU on Oct 28, 2008
great article Atiff. It’s a pleasure reading your material/
By Bawar on Oct 28, 2008
solid advice. give me more!!!!!
By Serge on Oct 29, 2008
Right on point. I admit i speak too fast and need to slow it down. this is good hands on advice, too many theory blogs out there.
By Yuri on Oct 29, 2008
This is gold for guys like me. I can’t thank you enough for doing this
By New on Oct 29, 2008
I thought this was basic info until I read it again. It is quite the meat.
By Omero on Oct 29, 2008
the Lean in is a really big point. everyone always lean in to show interest, but it takes away the power they have. Watch guys like donald trump when they sit and talk.
By PIA on Oct 29, 2008
I already knew about this info but now is the time to practice it and do it.
By DS on Oct 29, 2008
confidence is not as hard as it sounds huh? I like how you break everything down to simple to implement steps.
By Katie on Oct 29, 2008
I was under the impression that speaking fast indicated a higher confidence level, but i guess not, glad it was corrected early, thanks! Great blog postings!
By Confident Father on Oct 29, 2008
Great read as usual. I should get my kids to read this as well.
By Monks on Oct 29, 2008
damn i lean in and talk fast wow! never knew
By atiff on Oct 30, 2008
Thanks for all the good comments guys. It may appear I am paying people to say this, lol.
Do practice this and watch the reaction of others as opposed to doing the opposite
By Kandi on Oct 30, 2008
this is good that u dont cramp alot of information all at once. i know some people may like that but i feel i just end up not doing anything, so this is just perfect.
By khabir on Oct 30, 2008
just found this blog. so far i am very happy to have found it.
By daniel on Oct 31, 2008
amazing article. When will you continue with the rest of the mindset series?
By King D on Oct 31, 2008
keep it up. You are doing good.