Since I am starting this blog from scratch, most of the articles/topics also have a beginners feel to them. I want you guys to have a solid foundation on the basics and then together we can work our way up.

This post is called reality check because there are some important things that I think you should know and accept. I will admit from the get go that some of the stuff I am going to say are going to sound harsh, so consult with your doctor before you continue reading.

First of all you need to come to the realization that in reality, there are very few people out there who have your best interest at heart. The rest, as sad as it may sound, only appear that way. Their attitude towards you can change based on circumstances.

I am sure you have all had some experience in life where you thought a person had your best interest at heart, but times proved otherwise. Same can be said about friends. Again, most of your friends want you to succeed, but not surpass them, as this causes jealousy and insecurity.

This is not a big deal really, BUT you should know that this element exists in our society.

The reality is that if you put all your dependency on other people, they will eventually let you down. This is just how people are. Not always reliable.

This is not meant to put you down, rather it should give you a strong sense of confidence because you wont let this fact mess you up emotionally/mentally.

You see, I want you to trust people and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. What I don’t want you to do is to DEPEND on people, because you will be let down, and when that happens, it takes something away from your sense of confidence.

I see people all the time betting everything on certain people only to have their hopes shattered.

What is the solution? Actually it is more like a mindset. You just need to know that people will let you down and your feelings will be hurt so try not to get too attached to what others promise you.

Another reality is that people don’t like to be bothered. If it doesn’t concern them, or benefit them, they simply don’t care. Again, this a sad reality, but something you definitely should know. I will talk about how to ask others for help in future articles because we all face situations where external help is needed (its all about creating convenience).

So there you have it. A very simple blog post for you to give some thoughts and accept things for what they are. Please don’t start crying, and instead work with what you know and BE GOOD to others.

It is when you realize that the best human to trust is yourself, you become empowered and confident.

Talk soon.

Image courtesy of Zozu9

Most successful and confident people understand the value of having the right kind of mindset and outlook towards life. How you think and process information is critical to how you view everything around you. In this article (part 1), I will try to break down why it is crucial for you to get in the habit of controlling your thoughts.

There is a saying that goes something like this:

“You can choose to run your own life, or you can let life run you“.

Understand that you become what you think of most of the time. So if negative thoughts take up most of your brain space, then eventually you will become a negative person (trust me, negativity is the top confidence killer).

Think of yourself as a gardener. You can have some ugly weeds here and there, however for the most part you want your garden to look nice, and to do that you need to constantly maintain the flowers and plants. I know this is a pain in the ass for most people, because naturally our mind is lazy and unless we force ourself to control our thoughts, the brain automatically picks up negative and useless thoughts.

So what exactly do you say when you are talking to yourself? By that I am referring to both your inner thoughts and the words that come out from your mouth. Although this is a deep topic, I will briefly explain how to talk to yourself and will cover this topic more in depth in future articles.

The cool thing about your brain is that it doesn’t know what is true or false unless you specifically tell it. Big deal right? WRONG. Knowing this secret alone has made my confidence skyrocket. How? Simple, I just used the concept of “fake it until you make it“. Meaning that I would walk talk and act the way I wanted to be and slowly I started adapting these qualities as part of my natural character.

I also stopped telling myself things like “I can’t do it”, “life sucks”, “what a horrible day”, “why does everything go wrong with me” etc and so on.

Here are a few basic things you can do to start taking control of your mind.

1. Stop being negative around yourself and others. If you don’t have anything good to stay, then SHUT UP.
2. Stop limiting yourself by always saying that you can’t do it. Trust me on this one, most things in life can be learned and mastered. There are a very few things which are impossible to be good at.
3. Start feeding your brain positive thoughts on a daily basis from the time you wake up until you goto sleep.

As I mentioned earlier, this is a deep topic and will require more articles which I will publish as the blog progresses. But for now the key concept that I want you to take away is that you need to start controlling your thoughts.

Negative thoughts will eat you alive. It took me a while to get into the habit of being positive and although I am not always positive, I do have a strong sense of control over my mind and what enters it. This should also be your goal.

In the next mindset article I will talk more about how to feed your brain the right kind of words (affirmation statements etc). Now, don’t get me wrong here. I am NOT Mr. Positive nor could I care to be one.

The difference between you and I is that I know my limits. I understand my limits when it comes to being negative and as soon as I sense that I am crossing the limits, I simply stop being negative. This way the negative thoughts can’t take control of my mind. It is a bit tricky in the beginning stages to master, but once it kicks in then it simply becomes second nature.

There is so much I could cover on this topic, but I will purposely span it out over many many articles. Most people can’t grasp a lot of information at once so just stay tuned.

Until next time, talk soon.